Friday, March 11, 2011


A familiar season is upon us. It's not that I hadn't thought about a whole year passing, and mentally I realized it was March, but it wasn't until a couple of weeks ago when I was driving to work, that it hit me. It was the place the sun was rising from the ground and the way the sky looked. It was the feel and smell of the air. Suddenly some intense emotion started welling up inside of me and I realized, in my heart, what time it was. Isn't it amazing that God's creation can conjure up such intense emotions and memories? I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

I would say we have grieved well. (do people say that :) We decided from the very beginning of this journey that we would try not to 'care' what other people thought we should do or how they thought we should feel. And that has been one of the most helpful things for me. I am not suggesting that the process of grief has ended. We are about to cross a major milestone in that process. And I would assume that for any kind of loss, there is always a part of the heart that is sad. I would hate for that to go away. I want to remember.

What makes me the most sad right now is to think back over the last year and realize all the things we did, without Titus. It's just crazy that such a great amount of time has passed. I've heard people say that when something tragic happens it feels like 'time stands still' for a while. I completely agree with that because it seems like just a month or two ago that we lost him.

I'm a better person than I was before I knew Titus. I've learned things about love and about God I would have never known. God loves me so much. He loves YOU so so much. It's unbearable to think what we'd be without His love. There are many things that I've always believed in or spoken that now MEAN something to me. Heaven; we  have a sweet investment there. Earth; we are not yet living in the fullness of the Kingdom of God. Humans; we are resilient and strong and a lot of people really do love others as they love themselves. Sin, there is no sin that cannot be redeemed by what Christ has already done. Pain; it will not only end, it will be REDEEMED. That word means the world to me. Trust; though difficult, it's possible, even when you know it doesn't mean automatic happiness here on earth. Hope; it's all over the place.

Speaking of redemption and hope: Titus is going to be a big brother! I know you are all aware of that, but I like to say it. :) We are expecting baby 'X' in mid September. September 16, if you're one for dates. Kent wanted to have something to call the baby, so he started calling it X and it's stuck (to my mother-in-law's dismay). She's afraid it will stick. Haha. It is believed among the male students in our campus ministry that X is a boy, and that's just because they never fathomed that little babies could ACTUALLY be girls. You should have seen their faces when I broke the news that there's kind of a 50/50 chance either way.

I am 13 weeks along and have been feeling good. Just the occasional prego discomfort, so I count myself lucky. I have been, for the most part, worry free. I attribute that to all the folks that are still out there on their knees for us. Really. I don't think that I'd be as sain as I have been without those prayers. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We are beyond excited for this little one! That's the understatement of the year.

I owe my sister-in-law to be a belly picture. I have not forgotten. But it's not in this post. :)


  1. haha You tricked me and got my hopes up there at the end! :) I love you so much and have thought of you every time I wrote the date today. We join you in celebrating Titus this weekend. Praise God for a New Seasons of Hope and Joy!

  2. Love this! I think it is so hard to realize how God feels for you until you look at your own child. I know God is so excited to bless you with this child!!

  3. Brynn, we love you guys so very much. You, Kent and Titus have been in my thoughts and on my heart so much over this last year. This was a beautiful post, thank you so much for sharing your heart with us. So very excited for all of you as you look forward to the arrival of your new little bundle of love. Prayers for good health and comfort as your pregnancy progresses and that you and Kent would both continue to be filled with peace that passes understanding. Love you.

  4. I love you. I love Kent. I love Titus. And I love X. It is hard to imagine that a year has passed. You all have been in our thoughts, our prayers, and our hope this last year! You both have been such faithful witnesses in all you have walked through. I pray that this coming season is full of nothing but joy and hope and love and fullness. With all the love and joy we possess ... :) Love you sweet friend!